Kasumi's ... interesting curse.
by Yuriwriter
Summary: Kasumi has Multiple curses!? Nabiki's a guy!? Akane has a what!? Will the madness never end? highly humorous if you like people OOC. Slight Yuri. R&R.


This here is a little something that my friend and I accidentally came up with while talking on his porch the other day. It was originally something about Kasumi getting drunk and running around in her underwear. I changed it a little bit to actually turn it into something resembling a story.

Kasumi's Curse - by Yuri_Writer in collaboration with Cyber Phoenix.

Disclaimer: Nope Not My Stuff. Except for Jack, George, and most of the ideas portrayed here

PAST: TEN YEARS AGO

It was your average day in Nerima, Japan. Well as average as any day in Nerima can get. Even this many years before that troublesome martial artist shows up, Nerima is a very strange place. Although that may have something to do with the resident 'GHOUL' curses and such, witch. A very mean and wrinkly old woman who if compared at later dates, looks a lot like a female Happosai. Same height and all that rubbish. 

Now needless to say while she may LOOK like Happosai, she acts nothing like him. She hates everyone, especially little girls who are a LOT younger than her. The current bane of her existence happened to live next door to her, in a good-sized dojo. This current bane happened to be the ten-year-old daughter of a fairly good martial artist. Her name is Kasumi Tendo, and BOY did the ghoul HATE her.

The little brat was always into everything and getting into all sorts of trouble. Fights with the main population of her school being one of them. The thing the old ghoul hated most was the fact that she dragged her younger brother and sister with her when she went on her 'adventures'. Oh how she LOATHED them all, but most of all it was Kasumi that she hated the most. Everyone knew that the ghoul hated Kasumi, except for Kasumi who just liked to tease the old bat.

Of course one day the ghoul decided to do something about her nemesis by trying out a new curse. One to switch genders. As the old bat prepared the curse she realized she should test it out on someone else first. Setting her sights on the middle child, Hiroshi Tendo, she successfully changed the young boy into a young girl with her curse. The only problem was when she tried it on Kasumi she realized it only worked on turning boys into girls, permanently. Oh well she could try something else then.

After a week of gloating about her successful curse she suggested they get used to it, the curse couldn't be undone. But she could make the little boy, now a girl forget she was ever a he. They allowed her to do so and thus Nabiki Tendo is born. Sorry boys. Still she wasn't satisfied with her success. That damn girl was still the bane of her existence. After another week or so a new plan came to her. A hex that would keep her from learning to cook, sew, or swim and make her ignorant of the obvious. A fun little hex she had come across a little while ago. Not really bad just highly annoying to a person like Kasumi.

Of course, the fact that since that family had moved next door she had not been able to cast a curse or hex correctly did not deter her at all. So it came as no big surprise when the hex missed its intended target and managed to hit the youngest daughter instead. The ghoul just sighed and went back to scheming. After many failed attempts at cursing or hexing the girl the old ghoul gave up. She cast one more spell that of course ended up having some adverse side effects later, and left never to be seen again.

Kasumi ended up missing the old bat for about a week and then promptly forgot she had ever existed at all. That is until they end up meeting again many years from this time.

PRESENT: RANMA 1/2 

It had been at least a week since the first appearance of Pantyhose Tarou and all was normal in Nerima. Well Normal FOR Nerima anyways. Random attacks on Ranma Saotome's person for the love of someone or other, and plots against Akane and Ranma in all general sense. Yep a normal day. 

At this moment all of the 'fiancÈes', Ranma, Ryoga, Mousse, Cologne, Happosai, Nabiki and Soun and Genma, were arguing in the Tendo's yard while Kuno lay unconscious nearby. What they were arguing about is unclear to anyone who happened to be looking on at the time. Happosai was of course trying to glomp all the girls while random people attacked him, and mousse was yelling at Ranma with Ryoga. Nabiki took pictures while cologne sipped some green tea. The fiancÈes were in a dust cloud fight over Ranma once again. Most definitely a normal day for Nerima.

Kasumi was of course in the house cleaning and cooking while reflecting on life. As she walked by the dojo entrance she failed to notice/dodge the hot stream of green tea headed her way. It had been knocked from Cologne's hands during the fighting. As the warm liquid hit her several people screamed, then things went dark.

Nabiki had of course been watching everything that was happening with some interest. She faintly realized that Kasumi was behind them and tending to her duties. Then she noticed something knock the cup of green tea from Cologne's hands. As soon as she saw were it was headed she screamed bloody murder, just as it hit Kasumi and soaked her all over. Many people were curious about her reaction to something so trivial as some spilt green tea. Soun and Akane however both let out screams as well. Soun dashed into the house after his daughter elbowed him to retrieve something or other. Akane and Nabiki stood there looking on in abject fear. 

Finally someone spoke what was on everyone else's minds. "What's wrong?"

"H-H-H-H-Hitomi… we're doomed!" Nabiki wailed, that's right she wailed just like Soun. 

Before anyone could ask what that meant Kasumi stood up from where she had fallen after being hit with the drink. With a groan she took a look around at all the people, and then after blinking she looked at herself. A smile spread across her face and she began to jump around shouting, "I'MFREE I'MFREE I'MFREE!" In a singsong voice. Nabiki wailed louder and clutched onto Akane for support.

"Finally, no more boring dark. Hey sis, bro, did ya miss me?" She asked the sobbing girl and Akane who was rapidly turning blue. Then she took a look at herself and gave a shudder "God doesn't she wear anything besides dresses? Time to change!" In a snap Kasumi was now dressed in jeans and an N.W.O T-shirt. "Better!"

Everyone else who was not her family just goggled at the sight, even cologne who hadn't seen the girl move at all to change. " How did you do that girl?" Cologne asked in amazement. The others nodded, while Nabiki continued to wail and Akane struggled for oxygen. 

"Huh? Who are you? I don't remember seeing any of you people the last time I got out." Kasumi asked the bewildered group and then went over to her family and broke Nabiki's grip on Akane so she could breathe. 

Akane answered the unspoken questions on everyone's minds. "No, she's not crazy. She's also not exactly Kasumi at the moment, her name is Hitomi. Long story short she is Kasumi's curse or alter ego. We're not sure exactly."

"Blah Blah Blah. Come on lets go have some fun. It's been a while since I was last free, and I have to go look for the ghoul again so George will leave me alone." Hitomi interrupted and began to drag her sisters with her. "By the way Hiroshi you really shouldn't wail like father. Guys shouldn't cry you know."

"BUT I'M NOT A GUY!" Nabiki yelled coherently.

"Not right now at least. C'mon time for Hiroshi to say Hi." Kasumi said sweetly before reaching for Nabiki. The younger girl ran like hells hounds were trying to eat her, but was still not fast enough. As soon as she realized this Nabiki grabbed onto the nearest large object, Akane. Akane realizing exactly what was happening grabbed onto one of the nearby boulders in hopes of staying dry and curse free. No such luck.

Hitomi easily lifted the two girls and tossed them into the koi pond while yelling "Tendo Hiroshi Niatsu-ni!" just as they hit the water. Quickly following the splash Akane jumped clear of the water just as a boy jumped out with a yell.

Needless to say all spectators had become speechless a while ago. "Damn you Hitomi! You didn't have to throw her in the pond." The boy yelled at Kasumi's alter ego. Even as he said this he snapped his fingers and was instantly dressed in jeans and a green tank top.

"It's not my fault Hiroshi. Just because you like being a girl brother dear, doesn't mean you should stay one when I come to visit. Besides we gotta go find the old bat and fix the rest of these stupid curses, like George." Hitomi said. Nabiki who is also Hiroshi glared at Kasumi who is also Hitomi. They glared daggers at each other nose to nose until Akane threw the boulder at their heads. The impact didn't even make them blink as thousands of shards landed around them; it was her shout that got their attention.

"HOW COME YOU HELD ONTO ME?" she yelled as she stalked over to the arguing kids. "YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO THAT!"

"Huh? Oh yeah. A tail and all that. Look 'kane Hiroshi and I are gonna get these curses fixed as soon as we find the old bat." Hitomi said evenly while Hiroshi just snorted and turned his back. By now several people had face faulted or something similar.

Just as she turned back to face Hiroshi so she could drag him off to find the 'old bat', she felt the need to jump straight up and over the stream of cold green tea. "Hey! What's the big idea dad? Are you TRYING to turn me back into that goody two-shoes I was cursed with?" Hitomi glared at Soun who stood there holding an empty kettle in the just thrown position. 

"Turn back into my sweet Kasumi you heathen!" Soun yelled and after a quick glance added "And turn my son back into a girl!"

"Why should I? Your not the one who was cursed as a child you know. Besides I thought you wanted to help get rid of George too." She spoke evenly while glaring threateningly. 

"If you don't I'll..."

"You'll what?"

"Jack..."

All at once three people yelled "NO!"

"DANIELS!"

"YOU IDIOT!" three people chorused as suddenly Kasumi/ Hitomi was in nothing but her underwear and covered in blue paint. It was then that a ten foot tall bottle of Jack Daniels floated up and shouted 'Drink Me!' in a disembodied voice.

It took all of a second for the girl to be over the wall while being pursued by the large drink. Cologne just shook her head in disbelief and decided to ask what all this was about. Before she could open her mouth a scream rent the air followed closely by a shout of, "DRINK ME!"

"What pray tell is going on here?"

"Huh? You're still here old ghoul?" Akane answered the old woman with her own questions. As she turned around the others could see a tail like that of a monkey waving merrily behind her.

"Yes, we all are. Again. What is happening here?"

The boy Hiroshi/ Nabiki answered them simply with a shrug. "Just some curses left over from ten years ago. Our next-door neighbor really didn't like Kasumi all that much. Apparently she tried cursing her several times. Most of them backfired and a few ended up on Akane and me. Before she left something happened and Kasumi ended up with a couple of extra curses."

"Oh." Cologne and the others were speechless at this new development.

"Interesting isn't it?" Hiroshi asked the others. "And before you ask, Ranma. No I was not turned into a guy. I am a guy who was turned into a girl. That would be one of the few curses Akane and I got." Ranma just boggled some more but quickly jumped out of the way as Kasumi/ Hitomi jumped back over the wall right where he had been standing. He wasn't so lucky as to dodge the ten foot tall bottle dubbed 'George'.

'DRINK ME!'

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"Father you are a complete idiot, you know that?" Akane glared at her father as her onee-chan attempted to hide behind her. It wasn't working to well so she simply booted her into the koi pond where George couldn't get to her.

'DRINK ME!'

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"um… this very strange curse, yes?" Shampoo asked in her broken Japanese.

"I guess so. Why the GHOUL thought this was a good revenge for… whatever, I don't know." Hiroshi explained before he got annoyed at the continuous shouts of. 'Drink me!' and 'No!'

"Damn it Hitomi, why don't you just smash the damn thing like last time?"

"It only works once each cycle! I have to do something else!" She shouted from the center of the koi pond, her underwear now completely see through and the paint gone. All the guys but mousse and Hiroshi have nosebleeds.

"What exactly causes your curses and how do you get rid of them?" Cologne, the smart one decides to ask.

"Ok, here's the deal. Four things change her to Hitomi and back to Kasumi. Hot green tea, Sake, Austrian polkas, and seventies American disco music. While she is Hitomi, if anyone says Jack Daniel's, George there shows up and she ends up barely clad and covered in blue paint. There are three different ways to de activate George. She either has to, get drunk, Smash George into tiny little pieces, or start making out with a girl."

"Why doesn't she just smash him?" Ranma asks.

"There's the problem, every 'cycle' that he appears he can only be de activated a certain way once, until she gets rid of him all three ways. Then the cycle restarts." Hiroshi explained to the several people there. Kodatchi, and Shampoo began slinking off as they were two of the three only available girls there.

"She already broke him once, and she got totally wasted the time before that… hmm that means…" Akane mused.

"Oh goody! I get to tell her! Oh HITOMI! GUESS WHAT?" Hiroshi ran over to the koi pond to break the 'good' news.

"NOT AGAIN!"

Ukyo looked around the yard as several eyes turned towards her, she was the only 'girl' left in the yard. "uh oh! I'M NOT LIKE THAT! STOP STARING AT ME!"

It was at this point that Ranma got an idea. Not necessarily a good idea but an idea none the less. "Why don't I do it? Or at least Ranma-chan can do it. I mean after all I am a guy at heart so it shouldn't matter, right?" No one felt the need to say it was stupid, because it wasn't. However most of the people present did slap themselves.

So It was with this in mind that Ranma ran over to the Koi pond and jumped in, turning himself into a girl. Hiroshi slapped himself while Hitomi was just plain confused as to who this person was. "uh… who the hell are you?"

"It's me, Ranma! Chinese curse and what not. Look I'm a girl so if we kiss that giant bottle will go away. Do you want to or not?"

Hitomi was completely confused but decided to go along with it anyways. "uh… I guess so. So Ranma, um… are you a lesbian or something?"

Hiroshi just laughed his ass off. "Ranma, she doesn't know any of you because the two personalities are completely separate."

"Oh and you do, Hiroshi?"

"Damn Skippy I do! I see and hear and remember everything, even if she doesn't. Besides it's not like Kasumi remembers either." Hiroshi yelled. "Just kiss her already, George is giving me a god damn headache the size of China."

"FATHER YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!" Hitomi yelled before she confronted the red head before her once again. All eyes present trained on the two people in the pond, and Ranma froze like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. It was then that everyone realized why Ranma's idea was stupid in the first place. He was to shy to kiss anyone for any reason whatsoever.

"Gods this is going to take forever!" Ukyo said in frustration after five agonizing minutes of waiting. Neither Ranma or Hitomi had moved. Apparently the idea of kissing a girl was disturbing for her as well.

"Well, if your so upset DO something about it! Akane can't do it because their sisters and Ranma is a moron. As long as she stays in the water Shampoo is out of the question, I'm a guy, and no one wants Kodatchi to kiss my sister. Not even me."

"Fine! I will but if anyone blackmails me for this, your toast." With that Ukyo strode over to the pond and bopped Ranma on the head with her mega spatula. "Baka! If you're gonna kiss her do it now. If not then I'll do it cause that damn bottle is starting to piss me off with its constant shouting of 'drink me'." Ukyo said to the dazed Ranma, who remained frozen in place. Thus this left an irate and highly embarrassed Ukyo to kiss the eldest Tendo daughter full on the mouth. It lasted for roughly ten seconds before both participants began to enjoy it just a little bit. After about a minute Ukyo looked up to see if George was gone.

Sadly he wasn't. Ukyo got a little bit more pissed off while Hitomi was blushing bright red even as she swore up a storm. The male population, including Kuno who finally woke up, was on the ground twitching while their noses gushed blood. It seems that only Happosai and Hiroshi were unaffected. Happosai was practically giddy while Hiroshi simply kept his camcorder trained on the two.

"I think when they say 'make out' they mean both of you have to participate for longer than a few minutes. At least that's what happened last time, right?" Akane was trying to be helpful to everyone. Sadly she was just making things worse for the guys and Happosai nearly burst with joy. Cologne bopped him on the head and dragged him off for some 'quality time'.

"I was really kinda hoping that wasn't the case. Oh well, once we get this over with you can help me kill my dad. Sound good to you?" Hitomi asked the highly agitated okonomiyaki chef.

"Sounds great!" in a whisper only Hitomi could hear she added "Besides it wasn't too bad, was it?" 

"I guess I kinda liked it. You sure you're not a boy?" Hitomi whispered back.

"100% girl. Sorry if it bothers you, but frankly I'm beginning to hate that bottle an awful lot." Hitomi nodded her approval as they continued to whisper nervously. 

"Well, are you going to kiss again or what?" Hiroshi practically screamed only to be answered by two death glares and a boulder to the head courtesy Akane.

Again Ukyo initiated the kiss, to have it almost immediately returned in full force. Hitomi's arms slipped around Ukyo's neck as her arms wrapped themselves around Hitomi's waist. 

"I think they're enjoying this, don't you?"

"It looks like they're trying to swallow each other's heads!"

"look at them go! I think I see tongue!"

"My poor baby!"

"This is your fault father! If I were you I would run once their through making out!"

"ugh gross!"

"What'd I miss, what'd I miss?"

Akane and Hiroshi/ Nabiki kept up this type of commentary for almost half an hour as Ukyo and Hitomi/ Kasumi did some serious making out, that resembled someone trying to swallow someone else's head. No one was really sure exactly WHEN George actually left, but by the time they were finished, both girls were out of breath, thoroughly soaked and highly aroused. The only reason they probably didn't go any further was because it was cold sitting in the water, and they weren't ready for that… yet.

After a quick change of clothes and the destruction of a certain video tape (he made two tapes so he wasn't concerned) they set off to maim Soun Tendo. A massive beating later, they returned to the compound for a good nights rest. Ukyo was staying the night so she could help find the old GHOUL that did this and help 'make' her reverse the curse. Halfway through the night it turned into a massive make out session that lasted longer than the previous one did.

Yep. All in all it was just your average Nerima day.

Outside several male bodies continued to twitch as they slowly recovered from the massive amounts of blood loss.

Ok. This turned out a little weirder than I thought it would. It also ended up with a little Kasumi/ Ukyo Yuri pairing true to my namesake. God I am seriously demented and I need some professional help! This thing wrote itself, it had to of. I couldn't be this demented could I? What am I saying? Of course I am this demented, or maybe it's just my Kodatchi muse taking over my mind again? Well whatever it is I hope you liked it. Ciao.

oh yeah if I get enough requests I might write the sequel or what ever. Why you would ask for one I don't know...


End file.
